How fast can u handle ?

I was in a scene. I was in a very high speed. I was chasing a car. I was a camera to chasing myself inside the dream, but many times i dint make it in the end because it was too fast. Sometime dreams are strange n i cant explain. I remember a girl told me before, She said if the god want her to die she got no choice. I was not satisfied with her answer. I was thinking the matter is not the god's decision, the matter is "are u ready to go"? Maybe some kind of fear in me makes me dream about this. Sometimes i just hope god will slap me hard so that i will awake from my addiction & temptation. Of cos it is impossible. The dream makes me thought of if god ask me to go. I will tell him no. Please dont, I still havent settle my debt. I havent ready I havent repent i scared i cant enter heaven's gate that is the biggest fear in life. With all kind of excuses. Quote from Mother Teresa: God will not want your success but he will only want your faith. Eventually, please make yourself ready.