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| Vigil Night |
The Welcome Speech
2 years ago. I don't know if I will be there but certainly Peter will be there, he said that in Krakow in the Papal Plane. And now(2019 Jan). I am happy to say to you that Peter is with you to celebrate and renew you in faith and hope, He said that in JMJ Panama Papal Welcome Speech. Do you know who he is? He is our good shepherd Pope Francis, the man with the sheep's smell. I was awakened by his message and recalled those spiritual days that we used to journey together in JMJ Krakow. Everything was real and now this would be the chapter 2. We learned about Mercy in 2016 and then we moved on to 'Hope and do not be despaired' and now we are on a mission with Mother Mary and she is our spiritual role model.
Personal encounter with Jesus (up close and personal with the Lord)
One of my personal encounter with Jesus was at Figali Convention Center. It was an Eucharist Adoration. The Blessed Sacrament in a monstrance carried in a procession by Bishop Barron, after that he placed it at the altar. That was the moment of silence which filled the room with peace. Everyone fell at Jesus' knees and pray. For me that was a bonding time and up close and personal experience with Jesus. A pilgrim was so kind, he came and offered me a few pieces of box paper when I was kneeling on the floor. I thought it was better to kneel for the entire adoration even though I felt my knees were feeling a bit of pain but I took this as a penance and small sacrifice for Jesus. Every time I thought of Jesus was carrying the heavy cross of our sins with all the wounds and pains, I would tell myself who am I to say tired. I cried at that adoration. I did not know why, maybe Jesus' present was there. The holy spirit was telling me that this is the love of God, its not about judgement or punishment but it is all about unconditional love and this love makes you want to become a better person; and you don't feel like letting Him down because He loves you no matter how great is your sin. One of the day in panama I was locked out of 1st Papal event. I was so disappointed and went home alone. Along the journey home, I did a lot of reflections. I remembered when I was a small boy my father promised to take me to Kentucky Fried Chicken after my dinner. But after my dinner my dad told me that he is going out without me. I was so sad and cried. I knew I was a bit stubborn without considering his situation but this reminded me of the bond between father and son was very important. The covenant that we had made, we had to be faithful to it. Just like the covenant we had made to our heavenly father on the day we baptized. we had promised to evangelize and refuse Satan, I hope that we will not break this bond between ourselves and our heavenly father and stay faithful to the covenant.
Witness of Mission (The wills of God)
I felt very happy that I had invited some of my friends to an Eucharist Adoration organised by the US group named Focus; some said that it was very peaceful some said that it was a healing. On the Vigil evening, we insisted to say a Holy Rosary before the mass started even though the place was very noisy, it did not fail us. We did a Jesus, Junk and Joyful moment sharing together on the Vigil midnight. We recited a chaplet of Divine Mercy as a closing of our JMJ at our parish church. All these were the will of Saint John Paul II and he wanted us to practice these especially during JMJ. The place we stayed was a bit scattered, praise the Lord for we had done it once for all above.
When I was at my foster-home. I noticed that my foster grandma was always sitting there quietly and lonely. I spent an hour to talk to my foster grandma. I asked about her late husband who had been dead for 5 years. I asked about all her children and her grandchildren from those photographs. I looked into the accessories which she handmade. It was kind of hard to communicate due to she only spoke Spanish, all our conversations were translated by Google. I accidentally asked her a very evil question and it was: "which is your most favourite child from this photo?" All of them are my most favourite children, she replied with a laugh which hidden a lot of mysteries in it. Hahahahhah Forgot to tell her that I had sneakily drunk a few grasses of Panama Bolboa Beer at Cevicheria Rolandito(outside my house) before I stepped into the house. Blame it on the sinful beer.
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| Handmade by my foster-grandma |
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| Rolandito Bar of reflection |
Faith Formation (The Teachings that make you a disciple of Jesus)
Before we went to Panama we had 8 formations which helped us to prepare our spirituality. I personally thought that those formations were very important for every pilgrims, it trained us to endure and obey because it was a whole year journeying with God until the end of the JMJ. The more you give in the more fulfilling you feel in your heart.
I learned at lot from this JMJ. Sister Bethany said: Distrust, fear and sin keep us away from God. Bishop Barron's sharing was very inspiring. He said: "The world is telling you that you are unhappy, all you need to gain are these 4 things which are power, honor, wealth and respect." He continued: "The song by Christina Aguilera, I am beautiful in every single day. No, this is not right. The light of God let you see that you are imperfect and you are a sinner, it also helps you to see your own sin. Do not be afraid to say yes to Jesus' mission. Once you say yes all the challenges will come to you and your life won't be easy. Jesus wants to take you to a deep sea just like He told Simon Peter, 'put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.' Jesus will not let you become a shallow person but a deep person."
Catechesis by a chinese Father Augustine Lee Brotherhood Lecturer from Taiwan. He told us about the services that Mother Mary had done for us. When Jesus died on the cross, all the disciples were very scared and scattered. She united them together and pray until the fire of Pentecost burned on each of them. Mother Mary is just like the Panama Canal. Panama Canal connects the Atlantic Ocean with the Pacific Ocean, she connects us with Jesus through her interception. She brought the good news to her cousin(Elizabeth). Its not about she is the mother of God makes her a queen, but her humility makes her a Queen of Peace in heaven; and her simplicity and charity make everyone respect her.
Catechesis by Cardinal Blase from Chicago. He shared about his grandmother who came to Chicago as a migrant, she was all alone without a husband. She remained hopeful and faithful to God and eventually she has a grandson who became a priest and created to be a cardinal in 2016 and her grandson is Cardinal Blase. He talked about Jesus fasting for 40 days and the temptations that he had gone through. He said: " When Jesus was tested by Satan, He didn't turn the stone into bread but he turns his body into bread for us. He didn't throw himself off from the building but he throws himself on the cross." Blase was a humorous man who liked to talk about his family. He said he gave a stack of prayer-cards to his nephew and the prayer-cards was printed with his photo which he was wearing a bishop robe in black. His nephew distributed those cards to the classmates, when the classmates saw the pic of him(Cardinal Blase) with that costume, they asked: "Is this a Ninja?"
It was a joy and also a healing in my heart to hear Papa preaching in front of us, he said: God's love is concrete, love is real fiction turns you to sleep. Many young people may think that its not their time yet but no, that is not right. Fight for your space. Life is today not tomorrow. We are the now of God, not the future of God. Lets fall in love with God. Mary felt that she had a mission. May you feel that you have a mission too and may it be done according to God's will.
Mission Of Charity
I didn't do any charity in Panama. I saw some of my friends willingly picking up the rubbish after the final mass was ended. They randomly took a empty plastic bag from the field and started picking up all the rubbish little by little. Father Simon Yong said in his final homily in Panama, there is no short-cut to become a hero but we do little by little everyday to become a hero.
After JMJ Panama reflection
In order to find out the missions that God wants us to do, we must learn how to make ourselves small in front of God and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Making ourselves small is the only way to see the finest and tiniest thing on our surrounding as a way to find out those who need the help of mercy and salvation. Making ourselves small is the only way to hear the softest and lightest voice and sound in this world as a way to hear those who are crying alone in the dark. It is not about live out your own discernment but it is about live out the discernment of God. Live out the mission and the way of God.
My Resolution
I pray that God will heal all our brokenness. May God continue grant us grace and strength to face the greater challenges of 2019. Although there are some old wounds and scars in our hearts which are upsetting us, just continue to move forward and stay focus on the crucifix; with God everything will turn out beautifully eventually.
My Obstacle in JMJ Panama
I not sure if I should share it here because it is a bit personal. The toilet-safa that I used to shower daily was a bit broken. There were 2 hidden leaks which allowed the water to splash, one splashed to the ceiling and another splashed to the floor. To avoid wetting the ceiling and floor, I had to used my left hand to press on the 2 leaking holes while my right hand is washing my face.....
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| All you need to do is tiptoe |
Eventually, Be not afraid when the Gods mission comes to you. Say yes humbly like our Mother Mary. You won't know who you are until Jesus work through you, You won't know who you are until you do things according to the will of Jesus. Just like Simon peter didn't know who he was until he became St Peter the 1st pope, he is the rock and Jesus wanted to build his church on this rock. Saul didn't know who he was until Jesus blinded him and opened his eyes again and called him St Paul the evangelist. Abram didn't know who he was until Heavenly Father called him as Abraham, the Father of Faith. Amen.
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