Friday, March 27, 2015
Dear Diary 2015
It is time once again, 3 months have slipped away silently. Chinese New Year has come & gone. All the gathering with family & best friends really word cannot describe, really hope we can go back to the time when we were singing, dancing while drinking. It's been 2 months I'm writing nothing here. Isnt time to break the silence or the wait is over? Or keep myself reserved until my words run stale? Sometime we write about motivation post, happy post, heart break post we also will write some angry posts because life is not a bed of roses. (Actually this post was composed in Jan 2015, but I add in some additional info since I posting it now)
When you ask someone how are you? they sure will answer you I'm fine. Because we were being told & being taught to answer people we are fine or doing fine no matter what happens. It became a habit. We called this "spread positive vibe", which I don't really think is making sense.
Out of the blue I will ask my friends some silly questions just to see how they react, because their react will be the answer. I used to ask a friend when he was losing few thousand in gambling, are you happy? very quickly he answered I'm happy with my life. I used to ask a friend which I caught him telling lies all the time, are u happy he said I am happy everyday. I find it doesn't make sense. When you are losing money how will you be happy unless your house got money printer? When telling lies has become your daily life don't you feel your life is wasted for just faking it? I know the outside world, radio or books ask us to stay positive, but they never asked you to all cry out, they never asked you to let out, they never asked you to scream it out, how to stay positive when all files are not being closed properly in our mind & heart. That's why nowadays gambler also very positive, liar also very positive, player sleeps around also very positive, people who heart breaks also very positive, all still can fake out the smile cheerfully. we are all staying positive with no kind of way. But for my advice I think if you never honest enough to admit your hurt & weakness you will never move on to another stage, and you are definitely still on the negative side. Your thinking is positive but the action is negative.
We were bind by all these spirit but we still thought it is very happy to doing in repeatedly, sometime I do think this was a curse, why it is binding us like never letting us go. Maybe we need knife or cutter to cut off this rope.
Sometime we have forgotten how to be happy, that's y we need some references from TV commercial.
Oh drinking Moet is a celebration.
Oh driving a Benz is success.
Oh wearing Rolex is classy.
Oh using latest gadget we will look at him like James Bond.
Oh singing like that & wearing this way we call it handsome.
Or search "10 ways to be happy" in Yahoo or Google.
Our happiness is very critical & insufficient nowadays.
We just need more references how to be happy & success, can you please kindly assist? HAHAHAHAHA
We were told to be positive, then we tend to hide all our sorrow feelings. That man who always remember to smile but sadly he suicide the next day, just because showing true feeling will spread the negative vibe which is so naive to think this way, sometime Instead of crying we use angry to cover our emotion. I think every human will have their weak point, I mean I don't mind to see you crying or scolding or sour face for few days or weeks, just because you are hurt, maybe you need sometime to recover or to struggle but make sure u seek for help & get healed eventually, don't let this sour face & hurt turn into scar then it will stay with you forever.