Poland Krakow

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

A Sentimental Christmas 2013

Oh Dear? It's Christmas time again. It is time to exchange present again. Sometime we need some humour in our writing so that it wont be so boring. So another year has escaped from our hand & I have cheated myself 1 more year. The only thing i have transformed is my hair is longer & grey, my height still the same, my face still looks like my father's son. The only 1 thing in us which will not grow old, it is our thought, no matter how old we are, we still can choose to be naive & immature. Superman also changed new underwear but im still wearing the classic underwear so basically i have chosen to stay the same.

Before Christmas they keep asking: are u ready for the christmas. Yes I said. mistletoe Checked. Christmas tree checked. My friends checked. Christmas' sock for santa checked. My christmas holiday also checked. They said so many times we are just busy decorate the christmas tree, busy decorate the environment, busy all the things which do not related to us. A sudden pop up question: "Did u put some decors on your family & do u put some decors on yourself"? Oh my god this is too deep. I thought season of give is all about give gift give gift thats it or i needed to wear christmas costume for myself? Sometime i find that some people its very pathetic, they always do something for peoples but they never do something to fix themself. Never really heal their own wound until their heart is broken. Thats why they keep asking: are u ready? have u fixed yourself? are u ready to give the best? are u ready for this fight? are u ready for this war? are u ready for the peace to come? are u ready to let love in?

This year i've been playing a very bad man role, an angry man who doing things with frustration. I have scolded many of mine close 1 over this year. I was so guilty when i look into their innocent eye, when u scolded them he/she still can takes the initiative to find u or call u, it really makes me feel so sorry. In this mean time im not ready to give, when im ready i will pay back for my wrong doing. Lately i hear a lot the word of "pride", is this a sign? haha... Im not the best but i do feel im kinda talented in somewhere. The things & talents that i have make my pride the tallest building on earth. Thats y he said: do u willing to put down all your thing included your pride, your status to follow me?? Sometime u really need to let go although this is a fight, a same way to let go your pride. Pride makes people impossible to forgive. The reason why we get angry is because the peace in our heart is gone. We really need a lot of peace in our heart so that we wont get angry anymore.

Flash back to my old house which is my hometown, I dont even remember how many years i didnt celebrate christmas over there. The old house should be feeling very lonely without the spark light & the sound of joy. They said no matter how well u remembered your childhood's christmas, u cant go back anymore. They said last time your christmas u were very happy with your family but what about now? Did the time tear u apart from your family? Now we are all grown up, we will have our status, our point of view & our way of doing thing. Conflicts is normal to have sometime. A wise people said nothing can break your family if your family is united. I pray i will have the deepest patient & deepest love for them. I need wisdom to love & forgive the 1 i hate.

2014 resolution: Kill my pride. We wont know people will forgive us or not for the wrong doing but we must forgive others to make ourself feel better so that we can move on without something holding us back.

Eventually It is time to feel brand new. feel the peace. feel the season of love. A blessed christmas for everyone. Spread the good news. Spread the joy.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Sad Song

This sad song makes me wanna put down my pride & cry... What a emotional song.... Very good lyrics & expressive & touching. Meaningful & realistic.

Friday, November 22, 2013

The only limit is the sky.

Backstreet backed??? hahaha. My teenage singers are backed. They are uncles now. Its good they are still in the rail way.

Surprisingly i was very impressed by this song. I feel that they are grown & matured now. Sing something different from the old time. Not the same old teenage love songs anymore. I love the meaning of this song, its very positive & motivated just like the fire burning in the video. A very quality song. Good transformation.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Story Behind The November 2013

Art work by creative http://vienz.blogspot.com very thank you for this... Honestly this piece of work looks real n brilliant colors. good job.

Time passes so fast. Looks like we have crashed into the month of November again just like a speed vehicle lost control, and very soon will be Christmas month again. A very cool man said November is a month to think about your journey in life & the transit in life. WOW WOW WOW, why so deep??? Its absolutely yes. It is my birthday month all over again. You can call me a grown man now. Its not a big 3 o, but feel like the knife is 1 step closer to my neck, cant really breathe easy. My best friend said when u reached 30 u will lost a lot of friends which is quite true, nowadays i got no friend anymore. U will start to realize friend is not so important like before because many of them just using you to pass time or do the things they like. I have read an article on the internet "10 habits of the richest man", it said keep rich company which means keep rich friends & “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Its says get with rich peoples & slowly u will have potential to become rich. I found that this point was meaningless. For my point of view we need some inspiring friends to inspire our life. We need some positive peoples to spur us up. Last time we may need a lot of friends to walk with us. Nowadays we may need people with wisdom to walk with us. So next time dont read the articles from internet because it wasn't good enough. Just wanted to hint you that my writing is the best.

U will start to get scared because many of your friends are becoming father or mother which is another new chapter in life but u still standing in the same stage, this kind of situation just like u keep resitting for a same old exam paper because u cant manage to pass it. Your family will keep pushing u to settle down or get marry as soon as possible. You will find out those new pop songs is no longer your favourite because they are very noisy especially those DJ's song or club hits. They said if u found the old song sounds better that's mean u are old haha. Last time used to listen Modern FM now have transformed to Classic FM. My guardian told me everyone needs transformation in life. How? Last time drank Coke now drink Chivas? Last time liked Spice Girls now like Girls Generation? Or Last time smoked Dunhill now smoke Marlboro? What im saying is: If aeroplane cannot reach Rome, U have to use a Titanic, If Titanic couldn't make it thru the iceberg u would have to transform to helicopter, If helicopter still left some miles to destination we would have to use a car like Bumper B. How to transform from time to time is for you to figure it out. please think about it.

It was so sudden to become 30. I have so many former spouses & they are: Carlsberg, Chivas, Wine, Tiger & Marlboro, They have cheated my time & virgin kiss, Although i have dumped them, sometime i walk back the old rout line it still reminds me of them. The only way to feel better is go on to cheat myself plus please don't judge me. It will be very suffer to feel the break up feeling. From now on i dont want to look at the mirror anymore because it tells my age. The last few years i was too tipsy to ask myself what is my age. Some peoples suggested us not to look back. Some peoples even became a stone because of missing the wrong kind of life. Some peoples suggested me to change a new rout line because there always other ways to reach the destination.

Last week I heard about a story, no matter how heavy is the rain don't stop driving, no matter the heavy rain causes the lorries or motorbikes stop at the road side u got to keep driving, No matter how blur is your mirror just keep driving until the rain is over. When u look back u will found out they are still stuck in the rain. The point he wanted to tell was "everything will pass". The most coolest word he added was "I'll wait u at the finish line".

Last week I had changed the battery of my watches, I realized a watches is very clear with it directions, no matter what happened the needle will still reach 12. Same goes to calendar, no matter how hard is the time Jan will always meet up with Dec because Jan loves Dec like no one else can do.

Eventually, out of the trend but not out of the track. To be a exhausted watches or to be a energetic watches is your decision. Bear in mind: "wait u at the finish line".

Sunday, November 17, 2013


He said "wonderful song". I was like AW MAN!!! Why got such a beautiful in this world? Suddenly the world became so beautiful. Sang by the angel voice, He's a tuned instrument & he is Andrea Angel Bocelli. It touches people's heart. My friend watched his movie concert & he said he is very sexy, I was like isnt? His song gives me a very handsome feeling of course is peaceful as well. Sometime you wont understand where he got the stamina to sing with this age. His vocal just like a wave it gonna soft u down no matter how hard you are. Thats why he is the lead man in front of an orchestral team, who is 1 in a million.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Do You Believe In Me Like How I Believe In You.

Some people may says you work for hobby. Some people may says how you gonna survive? Some people says you got side income, no worry. Some people may says sell it all away.

Do i look like work for hobby? I think every job got the love/hate part. It depends how you gonna find the joy in your work, there must be some interesting parts in the same time there must be some boring parts as well. If I'm a singer & my hobby was singing, my boss wants me rehearsal & sing everyday i will get scared too, I'm sure everyone out there is the same. I know why they said i work for hobby maybe because of i look very chill & relax. So next time in case u want people to know u are hardworking & serious, u have to frown, which i saw it from my friend. That's not my style, I don't want to frown because u will have the angry wrinkles between your eye brown.

The god says would u put down all your LV & follow me. I replied: No, all my LV is all I have. I got some lands which 1st belonged to you but now it is under my name. The world keeps promoting money is the most precious gift. Money is the new god, If u got money u can be god as well. So there are many gods in this earth nowadays. We need to go sanctuary when we got no money, but when we are rich u already had the god in your bank or wallet which makes u feel so secure, all you have to do is take out your bank account book & worship the figure. That's why nowadays even the word "Allah" only reserved for the peoples who are becoming god soon, they can control everything like god. Their title will be: "its good to be god".

The god asks: Do u love me. My mouth says I do or maybe I did. But my action now has proven Im very friend with Tag Heuer & Carlsberg. They said action speaks louder than word... Only drinks can create that kind of super impact urge on me... Im very sure i love to drink more than anything & I love money because it can buy drinks. All i can say is I love god but i may not need to see u, this called long distance relationship or wireless loves(new one). My friend said the church is inside his heart, that really makes me laugh.

Sometime I felt I was everything & nothing all in 1. What Im doing is just following the trend of the world, if tomorrow onward the world will stop using money i will 1st 1 go to jump Sipadan ocean. Our bank account book will become mathematics text book for the children to learn 1,2,3,4,5.

I think i have to find out what i really wants.

Some people will ask: no money how u gonna survive, U know what i answered? I said no money will not die.

The father from sky above have put me under a panic spell for so many months. To make me feel brand new. Im from the top floor he kicks me back to the ground which i have never been before, A ground floor which u can learn the basic thing. My basic was never good so it is time. Honestly i dont know what is simplicity. Many peoples keep saying simplicity is the happiness but let me ask u, how many people can live with simplicity? Do u apply this simplicity action in your life? If u can poor as a beggar i very sure u are truly living with simplicity.

Some time people asked how u gonna survive. This is the best question & i got the best ever answer for u, What i will answer is: your question i will leave it to my god to answer, only he will know how i gonna survive. I have forward all the questions to the god to answer due to i dont have the wisdom to answer u right now. Handsome Pierce said You must have "faith". Yes he is right. I think "You Must Have Faith". U have to ask yourself do i have faith? Why do i so scared??? why do i feel insecure?? Y money cant give me peace??? Really have to find out who is the peace.. They said if u always get angry is because u dont have the peace in your heart.

Sometime u really dont know how much money u going to owe, how many money u will spend, how many friend u will lost in this very moment. U really need faith & peace in the heart to calm yourself down. Stop asking me how, but please tell me: Ivan, you gonna make it. Got to have the wisdom to talk. A lady said hard time will not last long, is just temporary, it will be over soon.

Some people said: if u pray for a raining weather u must bring an umbrella along. That's the action I like.

Only a panic moment can makes you move. This is true. I not really sure what i am doing is right or wrong. In this mean time I got to obey. They said sometime the god wanted to test you. I think he created this panic moment for me is because he believes that im gonna make it. Do something which is over your limit is almost impossible, but when u tried u will found out actually u can deliver more than what u are now. Of course there's no solo hero or independent hero in this world, only team work can achieve the best result.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

3 question marks situation

Sometime friends are really unpredictable, if u too long dint look for them he will ask u isnt want to unfriend him. When u look for him he will ask why dont u go out with other friends. Why dont u check with your friend before u come to me? By the way if u no mood or not interested to go out u can let me know, i ok with it. U dont feel like meeting other friends i have did it accordingly. I dont immediately cancel the appointment i made due to an another friend called in after 5 minutes. If my friend allow peoples to cut in the appointment that i made or they made i can also do it accordingly as they allowed. But make sure u dont feel any disrespect if people skipped your appointment because I just have to do it accordingly as u wished. Eventually what people think of us we really can't control, but if u think it's not allowed to think of u that way, u have to obviously let them know this is not allowed. This is where the dignity begins.

Monday, October 21, 2013


This is a must watch movie. U won't see any commercial kind of explosion or sex scene in this movie but the acting skill was really triple YES!!! My favourite movie of the year. A very brilliant & positive movie. Really cant stop shedding tears at the end not because the story was sad, is because i was deeply impressed by the fight back Spirit. This movie content a very good moral value. Its simple clear & basic. Its like u watch back some rewind movies which they used their basic elements & the acting skill to bring out the movie, i think they bring out the simplicity of a movie culture, u will not see any animations at all. Nowadays the movie we preferred would be robots & super hero especially big production 1. What i want to tell is this movie is much more better than those big production movie, so u can imagine how strong is the movie script. Just like u want to chase a girl who boyfriend drove a Mercedes Benz, but u just driving a normal Toyota, you have to crack your brain, burst your head, risk your life, brave your heart & dedicate your love to win the girl's heart. If i were a writer, i hope i can write a script like this rather than those very new idea. Chinese saying: not scared to use an old idea as long as is acceptable.

This movie was shot in Macau, basically its all about betting because Macau is a casino hub. The main character used to be a prisoner. He betrayed himself because of money. We created a false fight in a match. He addicted to gamble & leave him no way. That was just the starting. When he came out from prison he is an aerobic dance trainer, its ridiculous to ask a fighting champion to teach aerobic dancing class. But i like the way he slowly adapt to his life & start smiling when he is teaching aerobic. I like his student who believe in him without any black & white evidence just because he wants to learn how to fight. That kind of faith really touch people's heart. Its very sad to see his student's father lost his own direction in life because career failures. It was so touch the student said on the stage: i want to show a person i got a never die spirit, If i can do it, so do u. Unfortunately he lost that match & sent to hospital due to opponent was to strong. I like the main actor dedicates his heart to the house mates who lives with him due to they have a very sad background, He started to realise his own life wasnt that bad. I remembered the very simple message, when u are on the stage u have tell yourself: Yes, I can do it. There was a part the small little girl refused to follow his divorced dad the reason she said was: he's the one to tell me yes i can, but now without him i cant. Really never know an encourage works so deep.

Ending was the most climax. When his student was sent to hospital everyone was live with fear & disappointed included the teacher. But the student never die spirit has waken up his dad & his teacher. At last the teacher decided to fight the match not because he wants to revenge for his student. After he think quietly he said: I came from nothing just like this young man, but the spirit he had really something to learn. For my point of view the reason he decided to fight is because he do not want to come from nothing & gone with nothing. At least give himself a chance try rather than just observe.

For the last message he wants to deliver was quite personal, for me i would think that in our life we really need to bet. Not use the money to bet, but use your life to bet even though its very high percentage to lose from what u can see. The truth is everyone come from nothing & we cant bring the money away in the end of time. Born with silver spoon in mouth is just a saying from the world. In this mean time just try the best to do something meaningful. Sometime doing thing which got no confident will create a lot of fears & insecure in our heart, what i got to say is "live with it". The truth is there's no turning back in our real life.

Actually i have forgotten some of the details... HAHAHA so let just create my own way.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Sibu Diary//Oct 2013

James Bond 007//Ian Fleming

Same as my old house switch gear

Sarawak Laksa Mee Hoon

No matter how drunk last night, Sunday still a good man

Prawn with egg


Duck x Mango

Twins Boy JD big

Twins Boy JR small

Build your home with love

New Church for the 1st day

My Precious

Toms Too Cafe mini deco

Toms Too Cafe Mini deco

The 1st home dinner

My head keep repeating Jada Jada & Jorah Jorah because the babies are the main attraction of the days. Now i have left that environment feeling was a bit too quiet & that sound is what i miss the most. Nothing can beat a new live like the babies because babies are invincible. I was so hungry when I was uploading all these pictures. 1st time I post about food images. Basically this trip to Sibu was: eat like a king, drink like a fish. I have forgot what is hungry for these 3 days. Actually the purpose go over there is to visit the new born twins. Aw man, what a lovely babies. My uncle & auntie always give us the king hospitality whenever we visit them. I was so blessed to be loved because they gave me a close & warm feeling. The world is too big to keep us together. I felt so glad that they are so committed & dedicated to the family. Especially the new babies make them so busy & it is so dilemma because u only got 1 pair of arms but got 2 babies to choose. Its funny that their whole family members know how to cook, so everytime they will upload food images to their family group chart. Never knows a good dish image can keep everyone close. So dont dis people if u see people post food images because you may not know deep down was a dish of love. fin.

Monday, September 30, 2013


That day I was driving in my car, sending my uncle to terminal. He was sitting next to me, in a close distance. We chit chat along the way. As everyone knows when we talk we have to have the eye contact, to show good manners. Got a part I turn my head to look at my uncle while driving. I want to look into his eye with detail. Suddenly the fear comes to strike me. I very scared to find out that my uncle is older than before. The truth suddenly knock me down. I was like no room to hide anymore, the truth is in my face. I was feeling so sorry which i dare not find out how old is my close relative looks like now. Time is so cruel. Time also a reality. Market always selling things which are not realistic, it will make u get away from your problem but is not solving your problem. Time makes my beloved ones old & thats mean i am not young anymore. I think i have to be honest to myself.

Few months ago my uncle asked why the men dint come back for the chinese Qing Ming, he said we are old nowadays. In my heart i was wondering how old it is, i cant imagine. I got your pic but it dont deliver the feelings to me. But after that day i finally know how it feels & looks like. I've promised myself i will go back next year. I will go back no matter how hard is the situation. The world has set by the rich men everything has to do with the money, we earn money for our living & future. Sometime what you want is not what u need, thats y we will feel a bit lost. But no matter what I do i dont want to harm or make my family worry. I cant earn a lot of money like others but something more important is i must spend the time with them before its too late. I dont want to miss a thing. Don't wanna neglect & regret.

They said for the spiritual Journey you must: see, judge & action. Some peoples may say: "dont judge me". By saying like that sounds like u dare not listen the truth or comments. Just like i dare not want to know how old is my parents & relatives or even myself. How good to stay in the illusion world. All the while i never judge book with their cover. For me before u judge u really need times to look into it, listen to it, talk to him/her observe & feel it. I even judge myself, if u dont even dare to judge yourself u must be running away from yourself. Sometime we need some panic happens to us then we will find solution or action on it. We need some panics happen to find out how strong we are. I dont really know how much i can contribute but whatever comes i just say yes, i wanna find out how am i going to die, I want to find out about myself. So far i still very lay back HAHAHA thats me. Eventually Got to honest to yourself then u can find out where u are standing now, when u know where u stand then u can grow from there.

Sometime i dont understand why the peoples like to go for fortune teller. We are living in the present, we are not living in the future. Find out your past to create your future. Its not find out your future to create your present. You know who u are better than the others.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Will Be In My Heart

I dint watch this Animated Movie because it came out a bit too late. Normally you dont watch the movie u wont fall in love with the song because it came in 1 package. But surprisingly this is one of my very beloved song. It's like a golden platinum track in my list. I forgot to propose this song during my sister wedding. Maybe this song not a happy fairy tale song. Everyone knows who is Phil Collins, he's a superman in music career & got a daughter beautiful like the song he sang. Listening this song is just like watching a movie or reading a movie script. The up & down were nice. You will understand when u listen & look into the writing. The beginning was a bit dim, sad & hopeless, the outcome of the ending was full of hope & unfinished imagination. Every single word of the lyrics was so powerful. Especially the phrase "When destiny calls you, you must be strong, I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on". This phrase was written wonderfully. We have to stay strong when the destiny calls. Some situations we will have to face alone because not 24 hours our loves one is by our side. We gotta believe their blessing is always there for us & how they used to brought us up. Just show them we are ready to take the fight. Eventually u will never know just a simple phrase : "You'll be in my heart" repeatedly 5 to 6 times at the ending it will melt a people's heart. Just like u keep knocking the door repeatedly, the door will open for you.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Something about the way

My friend asked me what song would be good for a wedding dinner. He said what about Guang Liang-tong hua, that chinese song is good as. But my personal preference i will prefer "Something about the way u look tonight" because this is a song with a kind of sweet smelly smell & with some mystery impact. This is a song from my kind of library. I very very addict to this song since high school. Not just a good song. Not just a song i like, also a song i want to learn & sing. It creates the fight for me to hit that pitch. The thick vocal really hypnotizing.

I like what he wrote:
I was everything & nothing all in 1. Is true. Many peoples are rich in money but very poor & empty in the heart.

With a smile, u pull the deepest secrets from my heart. This is just too deep & amazing. A very wonderful writing.

There was a time
I was everything and nothing all in one
When you found me
I was feeling like a cloud across the sun

I need to tell you
How you light up every second of the day
But in the moonlight
You just shine like a beacon on the bay

And I can't explain
But it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside
And I can't describe
But it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
The way you look tonight

With a smile
You pull the deepest secrets from my heart
In all honesty
I'm speechless and I don't know where to start

And I can't explain
But it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside
And I can't describe
But it's something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
The way you look tonight

A Song To Soft You Down

I seldom post music video here. Honestly this is 1 of the song of my life. The beautiful vocal & lyrics were absolutely perfect. This song really gives a very deep feeling.

(I like this part. Its very touching) You will cry if u knew whats this song all about plus someone sings it to you.

I'm not as clever as I thought I was
I'm not the boy I used to be because
You showed me something different, you showed me something pure
I always seemed so certain but I was really never sure
But you stayed and you called my name
When others would have walked out on a lousy game
And you could've made it through
But your funny friend and me

My Funny Friend And Me

In the quiet time of evening
When the stars assume their patterns
And the day has made his journey
And we wondered just what happened
To the life we knew before the world changed
When not a thing I held was true
But you were kind to me and you reminded me
That the world is not my playground
There are other things that matter
And when a simple needs protecting
My illusions all would shatter
But you stayed in my corner
The only world I know was upside down
And now the world and me, I know you carry me

You see the patterns in the big sky
Those constellations look like you and I
Just like the patterns in the big sky
We could be lost we could refuse to try
But we made it through in the dark night
Would those lucky guys turn out to be
But that unusual blend of my funny friend and me

I'm not as clever as I thought I was
I'm not the boy I used to be because
You showed me something different, you showed me something pure
I always seemed so certain but I was really never sure
But you stayed and you called my name
When others would have walked out on a lousy game
And you could've made it through
But your funny friend and me

You see the patterns in the big sky
Those constellations look like you and I
That tiny planet in a bigger guy
I don't know whether I should laugh or cry
Just like the patterns in the big sky
We'll be together till the end is nigh
Don't know the answer or the reason why
We'll stick together till the day we die
If I had to do this all a second time
I won't complain or make a fuss
When the angels sing that that unlikely blend
Are those two funny friends
That's us

Friday, September 20, 2013

They Call Him Roy

Sometimes I wish to sit down with some friends who can bring me some laughter. Sometimes really wish to sit down with someone who doesn't curious about your past. Sometimes really wish to sit down with the 1 who can give you some opinions on your questions. Some peoples really make u appreciate because they keep asking when are you coming back even though they know u are not going back.

The world is really funny, it always spent is faster than what we earned. Things will frequently increase price but salary will remain the same. Monthly expenses got no idea to settle, everyday just hope Jesus will give a hand. Its very hard to stay tough when u are weak because even an ant can hurt u.

Lately i have lost my interest in listening music because non of the song can get into my heart due to im not feeling well. Whats going on?? Or maybe listening music had become my job so i sick of it. Maybe at this moment singing is more suitable to express out the feelings.

A Friday evening. I met a man who was introducing about music education. The man was Roy. He asked the lady what music u like to listen, a romantic one? without hesitated he plays "yesterday once more", it makes me turn back to check out who is playing the piano. Roy asked again: what about another song which i proposed to my wife? & he played it gracefully. I was like Wow. This man really delivers a very romantic feeling & warm up the atmosphere. He said last time he earned his own money to pay the piano lesson's fee. It makes people salutes for the passion he has. He knows the art of talking by with praising me: Yesterday you looked so cool but today u are totally different because u look hot today. Keep saying i look like James Bond or Tom Cruise, suddenly i was like entered the illusion world by his fantasy words, luckily i manage to slap myself hard to make a come back to the real world.

Last week there's another guy named Roy as well. His talking skill was so impressive & pleasing. The words he said can really reach your heart, surprisingly not everyone got the power to do this. He said everyone is a very precious gift from god. it makes u feel that "am i really so important"?? hahaha. Yes, He is a father. A special guest from Perth who is a Malaysian. He gave a lot of wisdom sharing that day. What a good fascinating speaker he is. Many of us pray, but we are not patient enough to wait for god's feedback because god got too many invisible mails to reply or heaven is doing some renovations to serve u better. Many of us will tell god either u reply or i will leave you. So many times we dont know what is the best for us, the more we wait the more we feel insecure, all we need is faint & actions, because god will not give us just i phone or rolex but he will give u the biggest production ever. Even Jesus fell 3 times for carrying the cross, at last his reward was resurrection. Sometime i wonder if we sinned too much will the god takes away our handsome look & talent? So far it never happens because god is very kind, this i can guarantee.

The father said the sin in our heart just like a spider is building his web, the web will build bigger n bigger if we doesn't change. We not just need to pray & confession. Eventually we need to kill the spider so that it wont be any spider web anymore. By clearing the spider web is not enough because the spider will rebuild his web again. What he wants to tell was after confession we are still repeating doing the same mistake so basically it makes no difference like before. The father keep encouraging the youth to become a priest in the future due to short of priest nowadays. He tells the parents don't say no to Jesus for the son to become a priest, if u say no Jesus will say yes, if u say yes Jesus will say thank you. The father said sometime is not easy, Priests do received a lot of complaints or negative feed back from the peoples, he said we are also a human, we will feel hurt as well. Maybe many of them think father is invincible because got Jesus at the back.

If u ask me who is the most impressive man, I will say the priest from my church, because many of them are filled with wisdom, their word can reach your heart & make u feel please. I appreciate their sacrifices to the society. Many peoples will find opportunity to accuse them that hows the evil spirit works. Although they are just an ordinary man but i think they deserve the respect. Their contributions are kind.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Narrow Door of 31AUG2013

Lately I have watched a HK talk show, he says nowadays everyone can writes. Last time only legend peoples produce book, but after we have facebook & blogger everyone started to write their own book. For me who's the author it doesnt matter as long as the story is fascinating enough. Even all the celebs & politician's book or facebook is written by their assistant as well so what is so impressive? Just watched the movie-planes, is such a positive & motivated movie, at last then he found out his teacher dint won any race in the past, but the message the movie wanted to deliver was: is not about how good & how strong is your teacher was, is about how this teacher makes u shine, & how much u believe in him that he can make u succeed. I think no matter how good is our teacher, in the end it still depends on how u gonna break into something new with the basic elements that you have.

Life is pathetic when your work isnt so smooth but monthly commitment still comes after u as usual. Its alright, the god said never worry about what we wear & what we eat, he said leave it to him. Thats why i know i wont die since he has written black & white in the bible, if i starve till die i will use the bible word to bargain with god. Everyone has their own burden to carry, thats the challenge thats the fight, Rich or poor peoples will also have their own crosses to carry. We will live without burden only the day we die. Life is bored with no test & fight. Many of these little things shape us into something new. Its something like u have to risk your life & throw yourself into death then u can find out the hidden side of u. There will be no breakthrough with stable life. Hope i can catch up with my life as soon as possible. Hope the burden dint slow u down or hold u back. Hope we wont face our problems with anger or hide ourself from burden.

A lady told me prayer/faith without action is zero. Even find a good partner we have to pray as well & action on it. Because we are the one to choose the spouse not the god hahahaha....
They said:
love wont work without communication
love wont work without maintenance.
love wont work without action
love wont work if loving each other with no ways.

The father said there is a narrow door. If u have to enter that door u have to be very disciplined, workout everyday & eat only vegetable to stay yourself in shape, purpose is to enter the kingdom of heaven. The lady said u have to get ready before your mr/mrs right appears, if the time she/he appeared but u still addicting to drink & gambling, u might lose her/him & the right one only appears once.

This is how it ends.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The Goodbye

courtesy photo by telegraph.co.uk
Oh. How sweet is this photo. James Bond was holding an umbrella for his darling daughter, to make it thru the rain together. Just got a sad news from youtube. Pierce Brosnan's daughter has died of Ovarian cancer. Can see that the family sibling & parents were very devastated. They shoot some sibling photos before she left, the happiness of those photos really break people's heart. Read from the news that all of them were there for her at the London Hospital before she gone. Pierce Brosnan was forced to stop his work for a while due to this tragedy. Pierce's heart was very heavy to lose her lovely darling daughter. Can see that pierce was a very good family man or father. Impact should be very big for him just like the same tragedy happened again. 1st it took away his 1st wife now his wife's daughter. A lot of Pierce's co-stars tweet messages to show love. Pierce said: My darling daughter has passed on to eternal life, pray for my daughter. Pierce throws himself back to work again because they are shooting a big production half way, the crews cant wait too long. The charming man dint make any smile during the shooting. Its really difficult to work with this kind of situation when the heart is so complicated & unsettled. God bless their family.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Freedom 2.0

The 1st freedom is purely written by me, but this time is something very special from a very special man. I heard this from last Sunday. A man said when he was 18 years old, He hurt his leg seriously in an accident until he has to sit on the wheel chair for few months. This accident has turned this young man into an angry frustrated man. One night he has a dinner with his uncle. His uncle was talking about he can fries an ice cream. But this young man was too ignition & too aggressive, he found that is not logic at all how can a cold ice cream fried with the hot oil. He straight away cut in his uncle conversation by saying your word is not logic at all. The uncle get so angry & telling him off: u don't be so arrogant, if i wasn't your uncle i would have turned this table up side down. That moment the young man was very very pissed off as well. After few months then he found out actually a frozen ice cream dip with frying flour was possible to fry but this truth dint calm him down. Each time he met his uncle his whole body's muscle will get very tensed because the anger & unforgiveness were deep inside of him. This hurt from the past just make him so difficult to get close with anyone. He was so isolated due to he can't stop carrying the pain. His life was so restricted because he has lost his freedom. The past & the hurt keep holding him back just like locked under the spell. 1 day it was raining heavily outside & this young man was waiting alone for the bus suddenly a calling has waken him up. He realised it was so suffered to carry this kind of hurt from his past & its so hard for him to let go. He cant stop crying for few days. He decided to get heal, he takes up the rosary & prayed for few months. After 6 months, He coincidentally met the uncle that he mad at, without any hesitation he go over & hug him. After all they have became best friend until today. Sometimes conflicts happened for some reasons, it gets each other closer than before.

As a conclusion. If we dont have the freedom is very hard for us to hear the calling. The calling what u want to be, the calling what are you going to be. If we are not free from hurt & anger everything will be so restricted & keeping us away from excel. Eventually, lets pray for the freedom. We cant change the pass but we can pray for the coming future.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

A Song With Love.

WOW !!! Andrea plays piano really sounds gracefully. The moment he plays piano definitely will be the most handsome man on earth. This song belongs to 2007. It was so perfect to collaborate with Kenny G. Very in love with this song lately. When I look into this song then i realised this song lyrics & music were written by Andrea Bocelli. I read thru the lyrics that Andrea wrote, it makes me feel that his world was just like in a fantasy dream with deep imagination feeling. The way he express this song was so incredible its hard to describe. The way he drags his voice just leave u with imagination, so hypnotized. I have known Italy was very good in music since small boy, because they knew about music like many years ago. Last time i learned piano a lot of pieces were from Italy as well. If i was Andrea's examiner for the vocal exam, I definitely will give him a full mark, no kidding. Because from the classical music class everything was very strict, u have to follow their dynamic, speed, climax, style, their century, their phrase & a lot more, im not expert with all these "performance directions". Its not the matter u like to follow or not is the matter u able to follow or not, because its not easy to fulfill. I can hear that Andrea song is very completed with all these things & he even can perform it very very obvious which is not an easy mission. He is too awesome to have the man voice, that's y he collaborates with female will be classic. We got our eye but we are influence by some pic, We got ear but we are influence with dirty music, we got mouth but we dare not sing. Is pathetic Andrea cannot see, but this incident makes him even stronger in expressing himself, expressing his music. This blind makes his imagination goes wider ... Is so blessed to have this angel voice. Very very appreciate & salute Andrea at this age still can perform the best to us.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

The Kids

My mother says her grandson is very sentimental, his godfather would say he is a hyper kid & naughty boy. A kid can be very sensitive & observant due to he is on the learning stage, He knows what u doing but u may not know what he's thinking. He will ask you why by time to time. They cant talk very well but they can imitate very well. The way they communicate is to express their feeling or show expression. He don't know Monday to Sunday but he will know u were missing for few days, maybe they judged day by the sun & the moon. Kid is very cheerful & charming, They will address u whenever or wherever with their smile. Sometimes u may mad at him but u will feel guilty for few nights because its so ashamed for an adult to angry with a 3 years old kid.

Last Friday night we were dinner at my sister house, my nephew was so happy due to it is a new place to discover. When it comes to say goodbye. He shows a sad face to my sister. Along the journey home he dint say a word maybe he felt complicated. When he reached home then he realized his parents wasn't home yet. He insisted to wait for his mom downstairs but after a while he came up to me. When i switch off the light he ran out of my room, he said he scared. He decided to sleep on the staircase corridor, he leaned his head against his pet cow n lying on the floor. His eye fill with sadness & curve his month down. Suddenly i realized a kid waiting for his parents is a very difficult mission for them. this kid still got parents to wait for. What about the kid is waiting for no one due to their parent is not coming back anymore. The heart keep waiting for some one. Flash back to the old time when my father was drinking with his friends, i keep telling him i wanted to go home eventually i wait for the last bottle waited for few hours. One of the uncle like me very much, he always treats me as his pet but he was gone too soon. Everytime i heard the song B tribe- you wont see me cry, it will recall me another uncle, so co incidence he likes the same song as me due to he keep repeating the same song while driving in KK, He's the 1 who send me to register Rahman College, I dont have money to pay at that time & without hesitation he helped me to pay it. I was feeling very thankful & hope to buy him a dinner, but sadly he has gone too far away now. I remember he is very funny & very protect his daughters. They are still on my mind because the love they used to contribute.

Eventually i hope the parents can sacrifice their interesting activity & be more responsible to their kid. Got to know what is the 1st priority. They might be waiting for you until they felt asleep. Or maybe they cry themself to sleep.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

What Makes A Man Of Steel

Time to reveal the story since many peoples had watched the Superman. I personally very like this movie "man of steel 2013". This movie which i wish to bring my parents to watch it because it got the family & moral value. Their ideas & concept making this movie was so unpredictable. Actually a superman movie we dont really need to know who's his parents because it's not really important. But dint know when it applied on the movie make it shines brilliantly. We all know that he is a superman even though he with or without his parents. I like his father Jonathan Kent played a very important role in his life by always giving him some wisdom words. He always asks him to wait patiently, it's still not the right time to expose your super power because he wants him to carry something heavier in the future. Clark Kent was implemented with human feelings. I like the part Jonathan said maybe u should just let them die to prevent they know who u really are. But i never knew that the "them" will be his father Jonathan, he let himself die in a tornado incident due to he wanted to protect his son identity. Jonathan knows Clark gonna make it big 1 day although he dont have the chance to see it right on his face. From the old time Jonathan has been watching him grow up day by day & he knows Clark will be a superman in the future. Is kind of sad when Clark deny Jonathan was his father & Jonathan admit that he wasn't, at the same moment Jonathan sacrificed his life due to his leg was too painful to run. The feeling was really very guilty without a chance to say sorry & goodbye. Thats y he keeps his father's faith until today no matter how powerful he is. Jonathan was his good father also a hero. I like Kal El asked his father Jor El did u take the codex, Jor El dint answer his question & straight away asked him hit on the left wall, Jor El said i wanted to build a bridge between u & human, Look at your left, go & save her, I know you can save the world too. Jor El was a very calm man who can see things very far as well. About her mother Martha Kent was a very strong woman, no matter his son is superman she still dying to protect him, She said anything can be replace but my son cant be replaced. Even though he is an adopted son, they really got the love & patient with him because they believe in him without seeing the outcome.

They said to produce a good sword must burn it with the hot flame while beating it with a hammer. A good Diamond have to dig deep enough to get it. A good gold doesnt scared of flame. This is what a man of steel make of, they brought him up with passion & love, thats the reasons he can become a super awesome man with something inside. A man who doesnt scared of fire, A man with human feelings, A man who is a guardian & protector. Maybe thats the way they complete his destiny. For my point of view maybe thats the reason why they call it: "man of steel" cos we need time to produce a good n beautiful steel.

Eventually I like the info that they delivered, left us with no curiosity. The message of this movie was very positive as well. I like the opening & the perfect ending. How they set the climax & how they slow it down sentimentally. Actually I was there to see superman fly around on earth but never know the deep feeling impact hit me badly. I will rate this movie as Super Excellent. A very inspiring movie.

"Because I'm Iron Man."

Iron Man 3
I drew this randomly last night because my nephew wanted me to draw he turned on my drawing drive. He warmed my engine and produced something good. I just an ordinary student in the college. I drew this at the right time because I have to post it when my friend is not producing any art work. He got the hand of god. He can draw whatever he likes and his drawing can speak his mind. So if we post at the same time, my drawing will be over shadowed. I not the person who really knows how to tell if it is a good drawing or bad. I got many friends are very good in drawing. I remember Kok Sean taught me before when u are drawing you, you need to imagine. You can't fully rely on the reference, what he said was right. When you come to a very dark reference, some of the angles is hard to draw, Some parts you need to simplify it due to it is too complicated, all these are base on your imagination how you plan to draw it. He is my Guru. I love Iron Man 3's posters. Many of their posters are very nice in layout and color. I like those photos with some kind of smell in it, it attracts me to draw it. For me I would like to draw a person's characteristic. People with some wrinkles would be more interesting to draw. Eventually I'm not the best in drawing but im thankful to God that I have the passion in drawing.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Most Gorgeous Man/Movie 2013

Sorry, I have watched Man Of Steel 2013. If u ask me who is the most handsome man on the planet for sure i will say Superman Kal El. I dont know why i was so cant wait to watch that movie. I didnt expect is a good movie & it gives me a star struck. Im sure this is the best movie of 2013 now i dont feel like watching other movie anymore... The fighting really looks like our childhood "Dragon Ball", but is really what i wanted to see. Superman was my childhood movie, now they have transformed into some deep feeling movie. I extremely love this movie, the most impressed thing was the feeling n the flow were done beautifully. Russel Crowe was so awesome as a superman's father. Really a big different by using the oscar actor, The way Russell speak to his son, the way he teaches people what to do was so calm & steady man. He is very cool cos he wants to blend in human feelings in his son. The front part he & his wife risk their life to save his son was really compassion. Russel got a kind looking in the movie. For Kevin Costner was really a very loving man, He is a hero for Clark Kent. His sacrifice really sad. Everytime they show Kevin Costner part it will slow the whole movie down & suddenly became very sentimental, this was the beautiful part i very salute. Kent's wife who is superman earth mom was a very good guardian, she asks Clark only focus on her even the world is so big, make your world small. Very very impressive the way she asked him to stay focus, the way she wants her son to be good even though she was afraid to lose him. Anyway this movie really plays with deep feeling when it flashback the old time. A must watch movie. Dont miss it.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Inspired Persons

Lately I have watched some interview shows by Pierce Brosnan, never know that he is kind of inspired person. Everyone says his old nowadays. The most respect & most appreciate parts are: How he walks to the 60 & he is in the big 60 but he is still on track with his career & a very healthy & positive person. I read a book "Tuesday with Morie". Somebody asked Morie if u got a chance to go back 20+ years old, would u? He said: No. I wouldn't, because that is what i have experienced & achieved & I'm ready to achieve & contribute more in the coming days.

These days were really hard for me, When u dont know what to do for the next step all u can do is keep the faith.
All these hard time is making us crazy all we can do is dont give up with our fight.
Sometimes just feel like running away & stay in a cave to have the simple kind of life.
Stress will make your emotion upside down. sometimes u happy. sometimes u cry. sometimes u are empty. sometimes scared yourself to wake up.

Some friends said im choosy. Maybe i am. I need to judge myself 1st then i can tell the answer. Some peoples say: is not just u choosing peoples, but others are choosing u as well, means that u chose them but doesnt mean u will be accepted. everyone is choosing here n there. Some peoples dont choose because they are very generous. Let me think, most of my friends are from my secondary school classmate, college classmate & work colleagues. I think i am not so choosy because all these group is not formed or arranged by me. Of cos there will be some of very special classmates that will make me like them. Or maybe i can see something in them. or i found they are very inspiring. Or i specially wanted to express my love to them. If i wanted to treat u good i will not care who u are. If im choosy i can go to other classes to know some cool peoples but i never do this in my life. I dont get to know people because they are handsome or pretty. Because my looking is secure enough why i still have to choose friends with nice looking or rich??

Some peoples said im very judgmental. Yes THIS IS SURE!!! from antic time until today peoples still saying im very judgmental. Because im very good in judging what is good & what is bad. Some peoples tattoo "only god can judge me". HAHA its ok. Some people is telling lie & punching woman n then just throw out a song "dont judge me" isnt it stupid ??? I dont mind to judge by people as long as they are not giving a false info or condemn words, as long as they are telling the truth to give u a wake up call. If no people judge, who's gonna know what is good or bad? What if a drug addict tells u not to judge him? then we just keep quiet?? Anyway, Now then i know im a very judgmental person... im getting to know myself more. thanks for the info.

Eventually I like peoples who are positive & very inspired & with human feeling. I feel this is very important for my life because they will be a reminder or role model for u.

It Is Time To Be The King

Cant believe the taste of the herbal "Bak Kut Teh" with heavy garlic smell in my mouth havent gone but the chef is gone. That afternoon I was there & i dint know that it will be the last time. The man with the surname of King asked me: Hey, Do u want some carlsberg beers, I said yes & sure with no resist & i will automatic take it from the refrigerator if i wasn't enough. Suddenly all these memories had turn into black & white. I was sleeping when my friend sent me this sad news when i saw it in the morning i suddenly felt cold for few seconds not because im scared but its heart breaking. I don't know why this will happened to my friend. Maybe like what they said: Man cannot live long without a woman because woman play a very important role in man's life. Everything seems fine that day but the sadness is buried underneath the eye. Smiling but is close to tears. Another thing was family's problems is very heart breaking & headache because things are out of control with involving people you do not like. I'm very glad that my friend is very positive & with a very thankful heart. No matter how hard is the situation stay positive & stay in love. I think it is time to take over the king's place because u are the only 1. Sometimes we have to strong enough to lost, this lost will make us strong. We cant change what have happened because nothing stay forever, the thing would stay forever is the love he/she ever gave. Eventually Im still thinking to eat the homemade bak kut teh in the coming days because it was awesome & homemade dish is invincible. Homemade dish is always the dish with family loves. Is possible someday somebody's son can cook me the same 1 because like father like son. & i kind of respect someone who can cooks.... FIN.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

The Spirit of 8th May 2013//Black 505 Kelana Stadium

Our General Election had just over. I heard many peoples cried about the result. I personally very devastated & heart broken when i knew we didnt make it for this 5 years 1 time election. Very disappointed our place is filled with lies. Air is so polluted with the sin of cheating. Is so hard for us to see the clean & clear blue sky due to it is blocked with this kind of dirty haze. All the sacrifices & hard works were so wasted.

When they announce 8th May 2013 will be a gathering at Kelana Jaya, I feel that I need to go due to i have a kind of unsolved mystery in my heart because i dont understand how & why we lost this battle. Many of the rumors are spreading unnecessary news like: dont go, it will be very dangerous. It is illegal. Some peoples really no gut. They donno what is the justice. They dont know what is fight for your right. Some peoples may said its already the fate nothing much we can do, so is this a give up or what? I will not obey with these kind of lies because it is so wrong & misleading. Damn the lies. Damn the corruption. If your money is almighty u better go to bribe the god in the end of time.

Last night the experience was really awesome, you will never ever see this huge number of peoples in a stadium even whatever mega actor or singer is there, cos no 1 can beat our Malaysia's heroes, I was so glad to see them. I love their contribution, their never give up spirit, their passion, their fight, their confident, their impact, their sacrifice to society really touched peoples heart, their positive thought is so convinced. They are really my super stars i even go to like all their facebook pages. I personally like Anwar, Nurul & Lim, when they appeared everyone goes crazy. Their speech was really full of force, their really fit to become a captain, They have gone thru many hard days to serve the society.

I was so happy & so touched when i knew Lim & Anwar took a motorbike here due to 1 whole malaysia is going to the same Kelana Stadium, both of them contribute until they old really respect & salute. I saw Lim's hand was wrapped with clothes maybe he got some minor injured but thanks god he still got the spirit & urge to visit us. Along the way was really stuck until cant move anymore. The rain dint stop anyone. I really can feel the passion & the spirit. It really delivers a very strong message to us: dont give up. The peoples keep coming just to support even no one will get a single sen, this is what we want. Everyone supported so much, just to be there even though rumors said it will be dangerous.

They end the night with our national anthem. 1st time in life sang negara ku with 200 000++ Malaysians, really unforgettable. Suddenly all the crowd stop moving but singing. Everyone seems respect to the country. Do it for the country we love. Do it for the Rakyat.

Eventually we dint win the battle. But with what i saw last night, we all already have the answer in our heart. Our fight is undefeated. All the peoples will getting stronger & stronger. YES !!! Keep the spirit going on.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

A Concert To Remember/Andrea Bocelli/KL

At 1st I was so afraid the ticket will sold out due to it is "Andrea Bocelli". The only singer can make me feel so panic about the ticket. Finally the day has come, I have watched "The most beloved Tenor" in the world Mr Andrea Bocelli. The show was perfect. I was so blessed i have the chance to watch him live on the stage with the orchestral team. I feel very joyful, deeply impressed, amazed. Never have a concert makes me feel so right. I think this is the best concert that i ever attended. Of cos going to those pop singer concert is fun as well. This is an orchestral concert so seems like everyone is so well dressed up. This is kind of high end concert due to the price is super pricey, Andrea was well dressed up whole night. I cant forget the way he plays piano while singing, he is very stunning & very man. Until the next morning his voice still playing in my head. He is so blessed to have this vocal of cos Andrea works very hard as well. I like the feelings he delivers, feel comfortable & peace. At the beginning was all kind of classic songs, is interesting as well. When he sang love song was really incredible. Every song was a surprise. He always end the song beautifully. I was so afraid to come to an end because i was so anticipated to listen more. Andrea Bocelli needs to rest as well after so many impact songs. No matter who u are u will love him if u heard him. Suddenly i felt like no point singing anymore after listening to his songs cos he is above the best. Really a gift from god. 1st time i attended this kind of concert, I like it honestly. Not try to be special or high end but I personally very love it. I wish I can have chance to see his performance again in the future. Andrea dint speak anything but the smile & he performed for 2 hours plus was deeply appreciated.

Friday, May 3, 2013


Nowadays the social network is flood with politic stories. Thats great, thats mean everyone is very concerning about their own country's future. We've been talking about politics day & night night & day is like non stop hit due to just 4 days left. Everyone is traveling home to rescue their hometown just like some kind of super hero with true justice in their hand. I very love & appreciated this kind of moment. The urge. The fight. The impact. The speed. The rush. The tears. I was very very touched by Anwar, Lim Guan Eng & Lim Kit Siang effort, of cos there are some politician i follow on facebook. They did something very impact & hard works. They run state by state just to give the speech to the citizen, to gain support, to give their point of views. They go everywhere just to speak the truth. U may still hearing the old tactic ways by saying who who who is very racist. This is such an outdated lies. Acting & lying just the waste of your life. Everyday the banknote that we are using is still the same agong head & we are not racist. We need someone who is positive n can really unite everyone. To help them is to set them free from corruption. A man told me, we do not hate them, we just hate the action they did. Dont be scared to tell the truth, if u know the truth dont keep it to yourself but share it with your friends. Last week gospel Jesus asked us: go & love 1 & another just like i loved u. So its the time to love 1 & another. Of cos we dont have Jesus kind of love & forgiving heart. We can always learn to love just for a simple reason. I think some peoples have lost the spirit of competition. Win the battle with glory. let the opponent lose with satisfaction in their heart. Who win or lose we will still have our life, we will still have our job, we still have to survive. What we wanna stop was the dirty corruption which will ruin our country badly. The wrong practice have to be killed immediately. Support & pray for this election. May the force be with us always. It is time & ini kali lah.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Man's Best Friend//A Pet With Love 2013

They said man's best friend is dog. Unfortunately my favorite dog had just passed away last Saturday. This dog was with us for 13 years since Y2K. He is browny sibling but he lives 1 year longer than browny. I know these days he is very ill due to he is old. His body swelled because of some sickness. I knew he is leaving soon but it still very hard for me to except the truth. Last Sat i was still very happy attending A free buffet karaoke which is a friend's friend birthday party. When my mom message me the bad news in that party, i was suddenly a bit moody, i suddenly cannot predict my emotion & i was 100% sober that time. I suddenly dont know how should i feel at that moment by staring the dead corpse of my pet. I still able to talk to my friend for a while. After that i feel like quiet for a while although the situation is very happening. Eventually when i slow down myself i started to cry like unstoppable. Hope i dint embarrass anyone because the other peoples dont know what had happened to me. I know i scared my friend, she knew what was happened. She said crying means that u still a real human. After that i chose to go out to the staircase if not i will be the spotlight of that night. The most pity thing is face the wall to release your tears & no tissue to wipe. The staffs over there thought im crazy. I felt my dog is very loyal to me. He is with me no matter we are poor or rich. happy or sad. Dog is very faithful. Plus this is the most handsome dog that i ever had. Sure he got some status in my heart. I cant accept this happened but i still have to. Felt glad & blessed that i have such a good memories with him. Jogging outside with family. Help them to create their name. Help them to bath. Feed them daily. Miss that stunning eye he used to stare at me. Is a very noisy dog which my father always scolded him but now i can only hear that barking noise in my heart. Is not about how branded is this dog but is about the contribution he ever gave till the end. My precious pet & memories. A pet with love.

Friday, April 19, 2013

God bless You

This song is very meaningful. If i able to sing it, i would sing it to my love one. Dont understand how he sings it. I have tried many times, this is so freaking mission impossible. I very love this song because thats the right way to sing this song. Thats it. Pump it up. The impact. The high key. The insane. Thats the way i like it. Thats y the professional says i may know what is a good song but it doesnt means i can sing it. This song is very inspiring. U gotta understand this song to deliver the message.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The Art of Speaking

Saturday reading was filled with inspiration. "It touches my heart everytime i read about this" according to Father Simon. I was so amazed when i know this name "Simon" is such a powerful name with inspiring story. Jesus asked Simon Peter (the son of john) for 3 times: Do u love me? I like the way how Jesus chose Simon. In our real life if we want to being chose we have to perform, sell our strength, act hardworking, talk interesting story with bosses, that is how we will being chose.

I like the way Jesus didnt twist & turn the questions. Only repeatedly asking the same questions for 3 times "do you love me?". Although the questions are the same but each question deliver a different feelings. Thats the transformation behind. Just like:

1st question he has already look into your eye.
2nd question he has already melted your stone heart.
3rd question he has accepted you.

I got so much imaginations for this scene, just like a million peoples around u but what u can only see & hear were Jesus's word. The situation just everything is stoned.

As u know He is the light. Let there be light. As long as we willing to stay under the light we wont lost with no direction. some peoples refused to stay in the light because they found more benefits in the dark. But anyway the light is always there for you & it will never put off.

We cant run out of this topic "vote".

I heard from radio. A 65 years old man is a fresh voter for this election. He said: I know I was a bit late but if i dont vote this time i will regret for my life time. Just like I havent accomplish a mission in my life or I dint take part for my country.

This is a very moment for all the malaysian. We all are grown men & women. We should know what is right to choose. The god has given you the freedom & discernment. Hope everyone dont just live for today. Dont just because of your current job makes u no choice, there are so many opportunities out there. They want you to be handicapped. They want you to rely on them so they will forever your boss. Think of your future & your next generation. U should clearly know what culture we are practicing now. Dont tell me U got no choice this is just the excuses to being extremely selfish. We need to be united. We have to win the darkness. We are living & practicing in the dark now. What we going to do now is "Let there be light". Many peoples are living in the comfort zone now but do remember to spread the love.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Freedom 2013

As we all know what is freedom. The freedom is given to us whether we want to live our life happy, miserably, ego or humble. Everyone's freedom is different. I think I love freedom more than any of my friends because i still haven't commit in any relationship yet, the love spell is very heavy. But time & tide wait for no man, im not young anymore. I have to make a decision because the dateline is closer than i think. That's y the priest said i need direction & vision. This word has been rolling in my mind for 4 months. He really like a prophet. He said a word is deep enough for me to find out what is the meaning behind. We have the freedom to choose about our life but we have to make a decision at the 1st step.

The men with status keeps delivering the message money is the freedom so that they can stay different level from the poor. The world keeps telling u having a lot of cash is a freedom for you to have many luxurious goods. The entertainment world keeps telling u having a lot of money is a fame & u will have a lot of pretty girls around u. Some may say this is a must when you're rich. some may say no. I don't think u are free when u re doing things accordingly to the world, u are just like under the spell or programmed. Some poor peoples may say charity leave it to the rich peoples to do. I wonder where is the freedom??? actually whoever rich or poor can do the charity because charity start at home & it dont cost a cent but afford will be needed in deep just like what mother Teresa did.

Some peoples say when u are drunk u will have the inspiration to write a better song or a better blog, I used to agree it but when I think over & over again. We should have the freedom to write a good thing anytime or anywhere, we cannot practice it this way it is so wrong. They said when u are drunk u can sing better but the truth is always out of tune terribly due to cant hear our own voice clearly. The talent is given in our brain is not in the drugs or drinks. Drinks is just helping me to collapse earlier like what i always did.. Or help me to get more fine tickets from the police checking.

Lately I have lost a lot of freedom. I used to go to the most expensive hairdresser but i was forced to down grade. When I gave this fresh hairdresser to cut my hair then i realized she wasn't that experienced. But if i don't give chance for her to practice how she gonna improve??? How she gonna earn some money from the customers? I really feel bad sometimes for not giving chances for the new peoples.

Some peoples may say drinking everyday is a freedom & that's life, for sure i agree it as well cos i like to drink too. But when u cant live without it u are under a spell as well, the freedom is gone. But i was being force to drink less because god has gave me a special spell as well... Don't know I should thanks god or blame god hahaha..

I know i have been abused my freedom all the while because my freedom only god can control it. I don't know why god has to do this to me. My freedom is being locked now. Last time i wondered why the peoples have to eat cheap meal when there is better meal to eat, now i understand is not everyone got the strong financial. I think i have to learn many things from the basic before i become a very wise man because there is no shortcut in life except i'm born with a golden key in my mouth. My uncle told me is not everyone understand about the word "poor", this is so deep. U have to experience it & feel it then u will know what is poor. Very blessed i was not born in Africa.

Eventually this kind of life is very very suffer for me, i don't know why i have to go thru this kind of special training. Some say if u no debt u are very good in managing your financial. In my dictionary teaching was if u never get into debt u wont have the ideas of how to make more moneys. I don't know this kind of lifestyle will last until when. My quote nowadays is: wont said tired until i overcame. What i need now is chances. Everytime i pray to god i will say "I do" i willing to do & contribute more. This is a fight. I may not win with my own power. God please help me with it. I have to go thru this difficult way until i can touch his heart.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

He's the 1.

I have to say Oh My God. How come got such a beautiful vocal in this world. I have heard some of his song years ago which gave me a very good impression but i never know his name. I never know him until my sister brought me to see his concert movie. I got many A list singers in my heart but suddenly he has beyond them just because the love at 1st heard. David foster said his voice can melt your heard & he's the greatest singer in the world. I never know his music will give me such a good impact. His voice let me know this is what i've been searching for. The feeling that it gave makes me want to stay because i feel kind of peace. The romance that he sang really filled the air with passion. It really left me a lot of imaginations. I think he really one in a million. A very gifted & talented. He is the one because he could be the 1. Never have such a singer impress me so much, the feeling is deep to say. Andrea Bocelli is coming to KL on May, It will be a regret if i missed the concert. Its very pricey for the ticket due to is a "world most beloved tenor". Hope i can watch this very important show, not much chances to have this kind of singer performs in our country.

Monday, April 1, 2013


Regret that I do not know how to repair a car. My car's engine makes a sound but i dont know what is wrong. My friend who is a workshop foreman & he is back to hometown. He is the guy i trust in repairing a car. Now he is not around is like end of my world. I dont feel like giving other people to check because we dont have the trust. That is why, when u are committed to one you wont like other strangers. Trust is build by days, Trust is without doubt. Even though u dint do it well for 1 or 2 times it wont break my trust, because i have reserved the chances for u. Actually my dad knows how to fix a car but he is at the east side. Actually i feel that repairing a car is a very macho work for a man. The world is interesting because we wont be knowing in doing everything, this how we need to rely, this how we need to stay connected with the community, these make us communicate with the friends, this is what a relationship build of. Some peoples may say they needed to be independent or scared to trouble people but asking for help a kind of wise wisdom, Is a must because we wont be knowing everything like god. This is how the god forms the direction except u choose to go the hard way. Is hard to make it big if you very scared to ask for help from the one u needed to. When this car problem comes to me I was thinking why I dont know how to fix a car, but when I change a point of view. Knowing everything is very lonely, we dont need to ask, we dont needed help from other anymore, we dont need friends anymore. we also dont even need to pray.

Last Sunday I have choreographed a "billie jean" performance in my mind.

Next post I would like to talk about Freedom.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Love In Portofino

I just watched a concert which they show it on the cinema theater. A concert which they perform at Portofino. This concert is performed by Andrea Bocelli who is a classical singer. For those who learned classical music before will like it very much. He said a song must have emotion & feeling. I totally agree, if not it will end up like saying prayer or reading. David asked: why it is romantic, because the love is there. My comment was this show is really very romantic. I love classical music especially Romantic Century, the kind of music always filled the air with love. The concert no one shouting like crazy so i can be more focus & wont be distracted by some noise, another reason is because it is not a party concert haha... Can see that the audiences eye are wet. The collaboration with David Foster was totally beautiful. Andrea's vocal really touched people's heart. It makes me wonder how can he sings it so perfectly. Some more is a blinded man who can plays piano plus super vocal. The romantic songs that he sang really makes people tears drop.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

How Drunk It's Gonna Be ???

The last movie I watched on cinema is like half year ago, Surprisingly last Sat i step in the name of "Flight". I have watched this movie twice. This is my kind of movie, it impressed me very much. I used to imagine if I was a movie director i want to shoot a story like this. This movie is very similar with my life style. It makes me feel like im part of the movie which is so amazing. My family & friend knows me very well, I'm a kind of person who very enjoy drinking. Even my mom asked me: So, all of your friends are good drinkers, I'm like er... Absolutely. My circle of friends are almost the same because they are chosen by me HAHAHA. I always tell my friends drink is a kind of celebrating. My usual pick up line will be: Do u want to have couple of drinks/it is time to drink. I know I've been over doze for many times, my friend says I'm obsess but I don't think they understand my desire. Recently my friend's father admit to hospital then i noticed that his father used to be a heavy drinker when he was young. Now then I found out the reason why my drinking bro wants to drink no matter the sun don't shine. Same old word: Like father like son. It hows you gonna break this spell. Just like what I have watched from the movie, the scene sleeping in the living room or toilet thats a very normal scene in my real life since i was small. A alcoholic really interact with this movie well. When you see the captain driving on the plane u know he is hang over & he will laugh unreasonably, when u see him collapsed on the floor u know how many thousand bottles he has consumed. I felt the whisky was in my breathe when i saw him drank so many different kind of liquor, only a heavy drinker can smell this. This movie dint make the tears drop but it left some thoughts in my mind repeatedly. Out of the sudden, he answered: "god please help me" which is not related to the asked question & he repeatedly saying "god please help me" due to the judge dint hear it clearly. The whole mood was changed because he asked help for 2 times. Many times we have forgotten the god is existed. Many times we are in need of help, the 1st thing we will do is flip thru our phone book. Many times we are so difficult to speak out our true feeling. Many times we are so freaking hard to tell the truth. Many times i really don't know what to do the next step. Normally we will say: God damn it. But what it reminded me was: God please help me. God please help me to speak my true feeling. God please help me to speak the truth before its too late. The gut, strength & courage really have to ask from God. The movie wasn't asking u to admit that u are a alcoholic. But if u speak the truth u are free from lie. Somebody is always waiting for us to voice out. Eventually if u believe in god u will feel better that's the cancer patient told me.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Trendy Jokes

My friend asked me to karaoke. I was wondering whether they wanted to hear me sing or they wanted me to share the bill. Feel very confused & paranoid. In order to get a good n persuading answer for myself i pointed the gun on my friend's head to find out whether my singing skill is good or bad. once they say bad i will blow is head. when police caught me n asked why u did that. I will answer: Sultan suruh. I live without choice.

My friend went to holiday at a sea side, got what to play over there? isnt playing with tsunami wave? To show my concern & worries i have advice him to wear the life jacket no matter where he is even though u are having breakfast at the hotel lobby. & i told him no need to scared people laugh at u. If u still feel insecure please use a marker pen to write "A/X" on the chest side.

I know in our parents' heart we are always a under age kid, But i dont understand why my dad always buy me the under size underwear.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Chinese New Year 2013//Snake year

I have not written for quite sometimes, I got many things to share for the passed 2 months but everything is over now, I dont know whether i can recall or not, i just dont know where to start & where to end. Time passed so fast. Chinese new year is almost over now. Its totally over now because i wrote this during Chinese New Year. How I wish i can stop the time in Chinese New Year, The gathering with relatives & old friends really felt so sweet & lovely. Back to the 2nd day i was playing piano at home, I just back from KL i was not ready to meet my east side friends so I rather play piano but the thought which comes to my mine was i cant neglect my friends, I know they are waiting, looking for me out there or even texting me "where are you y never come to find me"? I pick up my cell phone & message my best friend: "It is time to drink". We drank few glasses of beers in the evening & very fast i can adapt with them again. we gamble at night as well but sadly i didnt win any money. The 2nd day i went to my another best friend house even though i was not invited, I know i only available this few days, i no time to wait for the official invitation. Although we still repeating the same old jokes but no one will get bored, i know we don't have much new topic but i knew we did have many good times in our teenage. My hometown is very funny, wherever you go u will meet some friends due to our town is very very small. Its like you can run but you can't hide. 1 of a friend makes me very respect, I mentioned Mr Anonymous is a con man now, did u call him, he answered: Yes, but he dint pick up my call, no matter what we used to be good friend & i wanted to advice him to stop doing that. This guy wasn't serious normally & like to talk jokes, never know he precious his friends so much... really an awesome man.

This year i felt very proud because my friends who come from the west. My hometown's friends complained: you only find your KL friends enough lo, no need to find me drink. hahaha. I was kind of busy because of the guests who came from the west side. All the way from west i have to show my sincerity.

I brought 1 of my KL friend around my hometown & introduce about my past & present but not future. All the stories & happening places in my hometown. The place which i used to hang out. When I introduce about my hometown it reminds a lot of old memories. It makes me very miss the old time, the old places & my friends. Which is quite interesting. Only a simple introduction can give you a lot of inspiration, feeling & memories. My past will affect my future but my future wont affect my past, this is what my past makes me what i am today-a faggot.

For the Mabul trip i dint wear my watch so i will have to watch the sun & moon to know the time, its good so i wont be chasing time for that mean time. I went to Mabul with some friends. The place was so beautiful it makes me want to stay there & work. All the photo taken from there makes me so awesome because of the good sunlight & with a opened heart. Snorkeling was beautiful with fishes & turtles. Night time 4 of us drinking at the bar is a night to remember, never felt so relax & free. I never know the sea is endless & so infinity deep, i felt scared. This kind of nature places make people speak their heart, i like to hear the wave & Alext sings acoustic. Before bed i still can talk bed time story & some tears drop half way i fell a sleep hahaha... actually i havent finish my story, sorry that i fell a sleep in 2 sec. Morie said is alright to cry sometimes. You can try. Let out your feeling u will feel better. I dint know Einstein got such a quote. What we talked about that night was: Imagination makes your world fantastic. Every time they said nothing is perfect, N they keep pint point out "this is ugly", For me i see everything with my imagination. I like movie & song which will give me imagination, its fun. Imagination can makes us laugh also can makes us emotional so we have to stay positive. Never ever smoke weed or drugs to create illusion. If we want it to happen we must visualize & imagine how its gonna be. Of cos the basic theory we must action on it as well. Not just pray But pray with visualization, this is what i've been teach. You will feel bored if u are the one without imagination. Imagination makes your life interesting. Sometime the outcome is not so important but the pre imagination really what i chase for.

Everytime go back Tawau i will ask myself to stay. This question I sitll havent got an answer haha. This holiday wasnt short but just too many things to do in a time. Time passed so fast, dint have enough time to feel the Air of Tawau & Mabul & I am back again to the KL//LCCT. After touched down straight away have to go Serdang to perform my public singing karaoke until 4am.

Joke of the day:
1. When i calculated the budget for march then i found out it wasnt enough. Only can blame myself for not taking enough 50 dollar Ang pao n dint win money in the black jack.

2. My best friend said we are not handsome anymore. We are man enough.. haha

3. I saw a lot p hair on the toilet bowl & i asked her/him are u very stress or you contracted with cancer ??

Let us pray for Sabah, pray for peace & God bless Sabah with peace.