The Extraordinary Missions Of JMJPanama19. Chapter 2

Vigil Night

The Welcome Speech
2 years ago. I don't know if I will be there but certainly Peter will be there, he said that in Krakow in the Papal Plane. And now(2019 Jan). I am happy to say to you that Peter is with you to celebrate and renew you in faith and hope, He said that in JMJ Panama Papal Welcome Speech. Do you know who he is? He is our good shepherd Pope Francis, the man with the sheep's smell. I was awakened by his message and recalled those spiritual days that we used to journey together in JMJ Krakow. Everything was real and now this would be the chapter 2. We learned about Mercy in 2016 and then we moved on to 'Hope and do not be despaired' and now we are on a mission with Mother Mary and she is our spiritual role model.

Personal encounter with Jesus (up close and personal with the Lord)
One of my personal encounter with Jesus was at Figali Convention Center. It was an Eucharist Adoration. The Blessed Sacrament in a monstrance carried in a procession by Bishop Barron, after that he placed it at the altar. That was the moment of silence which filled the room with peace. Everyone fell at Jesus' knees and pray. For me that was a bonding time and up close and personal experience with Jesus. A pilgrim was so kind, he came and offered me a few pieces of box paper when I was kneeling on the floor. I thought it was better to kneel for the entire adoration even though I felt my knees were feeling a bit of pain but I took this as a penance and small sacrifice for Jesus. Every time I thought of Jesus was carrying the heavy cross of our sins with all the wounds and pains, I would tell myself who am I to say tired. I cried at that adoration. I did not know why, maybe Jesus' present was there. The holy spirit was telling me that this is the love of God, its not about judgement or punishment but it is all about unconditional love and this love makes you want to become a better person; and you don't feel like letting Him down because He loves you no matter how great is your sin. One of the day in panama I was locked out of 1st Papal event. I was so disappointed and went home alone. Along the journey home, I did a lot of reflections. I remembered when I was a small boy my father promised to take me to Kentucky Fried Chicken after my dinner. But after my dinner my dad told me that he is going out without me. I was so sad and cried. I knew I was a bit stubborn without considering his situation but this reminded me of the bond between father and son was very important. The covenant that we had made, we had to be faithful to it. Just like the covenant we had made to our heavenly father on the day we baptized. we had promised to evangelize and refuse Satan, I hope that we will not break this bond between ourselves and our heavenly father and stay faithful to the covenant.

Witness of Mission (The wills of God)
I felt very happy that I had invited some of my friends to an Eucharist Adoration organised by the US group named Focus; some said that it was very peaceful some said that it was a healing. On the Vigil evening, we insisted to say a Holy Rosary before the mass started even though the place was very noisy, it did not fail us. We did a Jesus, Junk and Joyful moment sharing together on the Vigil midnight. We recited a chaplet of Divine Mercy as a closing of our JMJ at our parish church. All these were the will of Saint John Paul II and he wanted us to practice these especially during JMJ. The place we stayed was a bit scattered, praise the Lord for we had done it once for all above.

When I was at my foster-home. I noticed that my foster grandma was always sitting there quietly and lonely. I spent an hour to talk to my foster grandma. I asked about her late husband who had been dead for 5 years. I asked about all her children and her grandchildren from those photographs. I looked into the accessories which she handmade. It was kind of hard to communicate due to she only spoke Spanish, all our conversations were translated by Google. I accidentally asked her a very evil question and it was: "which is your most favourite child from this photo?" All of them are my most favourite children, she replied with a laugh which hidden a lot of mysteries in it. Hahahahhah Forgot to tell her that I had sneakily drunk a few grasses of Panama Bolboa Beer at Cevicheria Rolandito(outside my house) before I stepped into the house. Blame it on the sinful beer.

Handmade by my foster-grandma

Rolandito Bar of reflection

Faith Formation (The Teachings that make you a disciple of Jesus)
Before we went to Panama we had 8 formations which helped us to prepare our spirituality. I personally thought that those formations were very important for every pilgrims, it trained us to endure and obey because it was a whole year journeying with God until the end of the JMJ. The more you give in the more fulfilling you feel in your heart.

I learned at lot from this JMJ. Sister Bethany said: Distrust, fear and sin keep us away from God. Bishop Barron's sharing was very inspiring. He said: "The world is telling you that you are unhappy, all you need to gain are these 4 things which are power, honor, wealth and respect." He continued: "The song by Christina Aguilera, I am beautiful in every single day. No, this is not right. The light of God let you see that you are imperfect and you are a sinner, it also helps you to see your own sin. Do not be afraid to say yes to Jesus' mission. Once you say yes all the challenges will come to you and your life won't be easy. Jesus wants to take you to a deep sea just like He told Simon Peter, 'put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.' Jesus will not let you become a shallow person but a deep person."

Catechesis by a chinese Father Augustine Lee Brotherhood Lecturer from Taiwan. He told us about the services that Mother Mary had done for us. When Jesus died on the cross, all the disciples were very scared and scattered. She united them together and pray until the fire of Pentecost burned on each of them. Mother Mary is just like the Panama Canal. Panama Canal connects the Atlantic Ocean with the Pacific Ocean, she connects us with Jesus through her interception. She brought the good news to her cousin(Elizabeth). Its not about she is the mother of God makes her a queen, but her humility makes her a Queen of Peace in heaven; and her simplicity and charity make everyone respect her.

Catechesis by Cardinal Blase from Chicago. He shared about his grandmother who came to Chicago as a migrant, she was all alone without a husband. She remained hopeful and faithful to God and eventually she has a grandson who became a priest and created to be a cardinal in 2016 and her grandson is Cardinal Blase. He talked about Jesus fasting for 40 days and the temptations that he had gone through. He said: " When Jesus was tested by Satan, He didn't turn the stone into bread but he turns his body into bread for us. He didn't throw himself off from the building but he throws himself on the cross." Blase was a humorous man who liked to talk about his family. He said he gave a stack of prayer-cards to his nephew and the prayer-cards was printed with his photo which he was wearing a bishop robe in black. His nephew distributed those cards to the classmates, when the classmates saw the pic of him(Cardinal Blase) with that costume, they asked: "Is this a Ninja?"

It was a joy and also a healing in my heart to hear Papa preaching in front of us, he said: God's love is concrete, love is real fiction turns you to sleep. Many young people may think that its not their time yet but no, that is not right. Fight for your space. Life is today not tomorrow. We are the now of God, not the future of God. Lets fall in love with God. Mary felt that she had a mission. May you feel that you have a mission too and may it be done according to God's will.

Mission Of Charity
I didn't do any charity in Panama. I saw some of my friends willingly picking up the rubbish after the final mass was ended. They randomly took a empty plastic bag from the field and started picking up all the rubbish little by little. Father Simon Yong said in his final homily in Panama, there is no short-cut to become a hero but we do little by little everyday to become a hero.

After JMJ Panama reflection
In order to find out the missions that God wants us to do, we must learn how to make ourselves small in front of God and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Making ourselves small is the only way to see the finest and tiniest thing on our surrounding as a way to find out those who need the help of mercy and salvation. Making ourselves small is the only way to hear the softest and lightest voice and sound in this world as a way to hear those who are crying alone in the dark. It is not about live out your own discernment but it is about live out the discernment of God. Live out the mission and the way of God.

My Resolution
I pray that God will heal all our brokenness. May God continue grant us grace and strength to face the greater challenges of 2019. Although there are some old wounds and scars in our hearts which are upsetting us, just continue to move forward and stay focus on the crucifix; with God everything will turn out beautifully eventually.

My Obstacle in JMJ Panama
I not sure if I should share it here because it is a bit personal. The toilet-safa that I used to shower daily was a bit broken. There were 2 hidden leaks which allowed the water to splash, one splashed to the ceiling and another splashed to the floor. To avoid wetting the ceiling and floor, I had to used my left hand to press on the 2 leaking holes while my right hand is washing my face.....

All you need to do is tiptoe

Eventually, Be not afraid when the Gods mission comes to you. Say yes humbly like our Mother Mary. You won't know who you are until Jesus work through you, You won't know who you are until you do things according to the will of Jesus. Just like Simon peter didn't know who he was until he became St Peter the 1st pope, he is the rock and Jesus wanted to build his church on this rock. Saul didn't know who he was until Jesus blinded him and opened his eyes again and called him St Paul the evangelist. Abram didn't know who he was until Heavenly Father called him as Abraham, the Father of Faith. Amen.

JMJ Panama 2019

Our Lady Of Mercy

Central of America // Honda Civic

Home Sweet Home

1 Way Ticket To Papa

Flag In The Air

Papa On TV

Cardinal Blase J Cupich

Hand-Made By My Foster Grandmother

Papa's Calling From My Left

Panama was my 2nd JMJ, this was the 1st time in my life that I stayed with a foster family. I found it so hard to call my foster mum(Jasmina) as mum because in my life I have only 1 mum, maybe I was a bit too serious. My foster family was a devoted catholic. Every morning foster mum would prepare some healthy breakfast to keep us full and strong. I spent time to ask and know about her family tree with the family photos she displayed. I also spent an hour sit down and talked to my foster grandma because I did not want her to feel empty and lonely. On the last day I left the house I kissed my foster grandma on her cheek and told her that I have to go, my foster mum face down and shed tears when I got on a Taxi.

Parroquia Perpetuo Socorro was our parish church at Panama. I never knew I could build so much relationships with this church within 9 days. I still remembered the 1st people that I met in that church was Padre Orlando and Deacon Alcibiades, every morning I would greet them good morning before our catechesis started. The 1st Papal mass I was locked outside of the event due to it was over crowded. I was so disappointed and I could not help myself from crying. I walked around that place and came to a grocery shop to buy something, when I walked out of that shop I heard Papa's voice was coming from the left. I turn my head to left and I saw Papa was giving his homily on the big screen, my legs automatically walked to that direction as if the Holy Spirit was drawing me; the spirit was telling me no matter what happens we must remain hopeful and have faint in God. The very next morning I not sure was it holy spirit worked through Padre Orlando, he randomly invited me to lunch with Cardinal Blase Cupich. I felt so happy, maybe God was trying to console me and replace what I had missed yesterday. On the last day I left the Panama parish. I walked to Padre Orlando, I said goodbye while I grasped his hand tight for seconds to express how much I would be missing this place.

Panama is a catholic country. The priests preach on their own national TV channel. I could tell that they were so longing for this JMJ with all the things they prepared with hearts. It was a great joy for all the Panamanian to have this JMJ. I like the way they call Pope as Papa, the word 'Papa' makes me feel so affable. We all have a same Papa and he is Pope Francis, all of us are in a big family because we are the children of Heavenly Father. I asked a taxi driver, how did you feel when you see Papa? It seemed like he was holding back his tears and he replied softly, "It was very touching." Sometimes I was wondering why the people would cry when they saw Pope Francis, Saint JP2 once said tears flow silently through the soul and cleans the heart. I do believe this kind of crying is a kind of healing and consoling. God is working through Pope Francis to give the people love and healing.

Eventually from this JMJ Panama we know that, be not afraid to say yes like Mother Mary to Jesus' mission. The mission starts today not tomorrow. We are the now of God not the future of God. Lets live out the mission of Christ. Amen

It is time to rejoice.

3rd week of Advent is all about rejoice. I went to Sunday mass at 10am. When the Father came in and straight away he wanted us to ask the people which were next to us "what is your rejoice of today?" The woman next to me was so scared to talk and look at me, I didn't know why. Father went around the congregation to ask for answers. The 1st man said: "I feel rejoice because today is my wife's birthday and thanks her for being there for me always." Another man said: "I feel rejoice because my wife is expecting. A small girl said: "I feel rejoice because I can come to church with my family and pray together. The last man said: "I feel rejoice because I can eat Nasi Briyani after the mass." Father replied him with hope you feel rejoice with the mass as well beside the Nasi Briyani. Some people walk to the dark alley that is why it is very hard for them to feel the light of joy, he said. He continued, we have to feel rejoice no matter it is a good time or bad time, some people find joy through sorrows and sadness. I remember Father S.L's sharing "you have to have the wisdom to feel the joy."  Eventually try your best to feel the joy in every situation until your Heavenly Father says you are my child of Joy. Amen.

Live Singing: Life Is A Roller Coaster

Boyzone Ronan Keating has been my singing mentor since I was a teenager. I always replay his songs to learn his songs. To sing like him is one of my dream because I find that he got the voice which makes people feel comfortable. A cheerful song to perform and life has up and down, fast and slow, life is really a roller coaster. We just have to fasten our safety belt and let the adventure begin.

Questions That You Hate The Most

One of a humid afternoon. I was walking to my car, 2 young ladies came to approach me. 1 was a Caucasian and another 1 was a Chinese. I thought they were some students who were doing some charity and asking for donation. The truth was they were coming to me was because they wanted to sell me their religion which was a modern Christianity. According to them, after new testament, they have a modern prophet who formed their church, the prophet was from U.S. Actually I have heard of this religion when I was a very very small boy. These 2 ladies came from U.S. 1 of them was 19 and another 1 was 20. They will stay here for 1 and half year just to share about their religion as a volunteer. Sometime I would quite avoid this kind of people because if they are too aggressive and stubborn it will trigger my 'fire alarm(temper).' Now lets talk about the 1st question that they asked me. She asked: "Are you a christian?" instead of giving a superficial answer, I said: "Yes, I'm a Catholic. Sometime you need to be brave to say that you are a Catholic because whatever you do will be representing the image of your church. Sometime we bring shameful thing to our church which is really making us very sad and guilty. I always tell them it is me unable to obey my God's will and teaching, nothing is wrong with my church's teaching. The conversation continued. I asked the Chinese girl why are you a Chinese but named with Caucasian's name and surname? She told me that she was a China girl and adopted by a U.S couple. I said: "Oh, your step parents crossed half of the world just to adopt you from China, you are so lucky and blessed. Yes, because I am worth it, she said. I was kind of straight forward and without any consideration, I asked: "Do you still meet with your real parents like once in a year?" She said:" No, because I was abandoned and I don't even know who are my real parents." It was quite sad to hear that and I shared some stories to her. I said: "I have a piano student, she is a adopted kid as well, but when she was adopted she has the chance to study in an international school, learn piano and violin, she travels 3 times a year. I believe everyone has their own blessing; maybe you are longing for the answer of who is your real parents, but for the thing that we don't know or understand just leave it to God, the uncertainty in our heart is a room for our God to stay there,uncertainty is a thing which makes us humble. Eventually that Caucasian threw out a challenging question to me, which is what is your purpose in life? I was like oh dear, the answer that I answer will be representing my personality. Give me 5 sec, I said. At first I was thinking to tell them, find a partner and get married and make as many baby as you can, that's our life purpose, those ideas are inspired by my friends and families. I closed my eyes for a sec to think and straight away Pope Francis came into my mind, I answered them: "The purpose of our lives is to serve, we have to serve the society, we have to serve the people around us. Work is 1 of the way to serve. Although we will be paid when we serve the customers in our company, those services are counted as serve as well. You have to serve yourself as well, but try to balance serving yourself and serving others. A serving heart makes you a humble person." Everybody quieted for few second. Eventually, she gave me her name-card and asked: "Are you interested to visit our church. I said: "Sorry, I'm very focus on my Catholic's way and thank you for sharing and showing me your bible. Have a nice day and God bless you guys.

The Feelings Of A Rainy Day 2018

One of a breezy holiday. I was on the way to pick up somebody. I called the passenger when I was about to arrive, he answered the phone and told me that I had overshot his intended location with a deep voice which made me thought that he was an old man. I turned for 2 rounds then I managed to find him up due to he didn't turn up on time. I talked to him a lot along the way to his home. I asked him: "Are you working?"  He said: "No, Im studying here, studying IG." I have no idea what is IG. When I asked him about his age then I knew that he was a teenager. His fore head was wounded and covered with a plaster which reminded me I cycled and crashed into the drain and burst my head into blood when I was a teenager. Out of the sudden the sky was raining cats and dogs. As I reached his residential area, I saw many beautiful big houses. I said: "Which big house belongs to you?" He said: "No, my house is not that big." As I reached his house, I asked him to open the gate of his house so that I could drop off him under the shelter. He opened the gate with his remote control then we realized the shelter was already occupied by his father's car Honda-Accord. This teenager's father quickly ran into the house and get an umbrella and ran out to receive his beloved son. I was sitting inside my car to wait for this boy to pay the fare. From what I saw from my car side mirror, his father hand was wrapped with bandage. I told the boy: "I can tell, your father loves you so much, he ran out from the house even his shirt was not buttoned at all; your father wants to open the door even his hand was hurt and feeling in pain." The teenager just smiled and didn't know how to respond to my sentimental words. His father closed my car door by saying thank you gratefully. I turned my head back to the front view and my mind told me that his father a bit looked like Tom Cruise. His son was not that handsome and his voice was very unpleasant to listen. That scene told me, no matter they are good looking or not or their voice are pleasant or not, they will still always be the precious of their fathers and mothers. Suddenly I had turned into grey color because nobody will come out to cover me if it is raining cats and dogs. suddenly I felt so cold and lonely just like I was standing in the rain by looking at the grey raining sky outside. Good family value plays the most important part in every family. This kind of warm loving scene will really break your heart into pieces if you have an absent father or mother. Eventually, everybody comes from a family, there is no perfect family in this world but there's family who is die trying to be better.

Singing Competition

Live singing is never an easy job because I don't have the backup singers at the back, I have to sing every single word with my own breath. I just have the time to examine my own singing. I realize there is a part I was out of breath due to I didn't pause long enough for myself to breath in. Some parts I didn't go in on time. I was too shy to put in some of my dance steps. All these happened were because I was too nervous and afraid. This performance was not the best of me but anyway I do feel that it is a pass for my own requirement. I felt very grateful that my friends took the initiative to come over to support me without taking their dinner it gave me so much hopes and strengths to work harder. This competition was a great challenge and it motivated me a lot. It gave me the dream and direction of striving number one although I didn't win anything but it gained some life experiences. I was so driven by the spirit of the competition, I loved the feeling and it made me so committed. Eventually, lets continue to dream big and dare to dream.